Throwing it back to the wolves

by Tomi

2008. That’s 8 years pass humanity’s deadline. Aren’t you mad psyched? Well you should be. Because the 08 means the triumphant return of, who else, the PKi! Commune. Notice its commune now. Why? Because I got most of the staff red eyes and psychedelics during our absence. Oh and notice also I said “staff”. Yes, PKi! would have a cast of revolving people writing our shit talking because it’s not really fair if I cash-in on all the credit. Not that there’s any cash to cash-in.

So to kick off the festivities of PKi! being officially back, a few questions that need answering. Like where the hell we were and what the fuck were we doing? Simple. Smoking crack and worshipping Xenu. Keep up with the times gramps.

Basically it’s this, we were out and about doing shows no one seems to go to and riding on how funnily unfunny the mediocre and bland bands that play this said shows. Then after doing that for a while I just got fucking tired of it and decided to somewhat detach myself and the collective *ehem excuse me* commune from this circus of toddlers who don’t know shit about anything. Twirling their guitars and hammering endless nonsense laced over power chords and bitching about ex girlfriends. Plus the obligatory Alesana cover. Come on kids. Stop watching MTV and stop your youtube night outs with your so-called band just so you can copy the equally lame ass band posturing of Gayden or the other 89357928 mallcore, brocore bullshit out there. Seriously, get a life. Pick up a hobby. Do drugs. Twats.

Anyway…

It’s been months since the last PKi! update. The last one was what? Last summer? The house show (my own house fuckers) that got sort of stopped by rentacops and a bunch of people I didn’t know went to? Yes that’s when you last heard of us. Much has changed since then. For example, we hated more music released than we actually liked. But that’s a given already. Also, I wasn’t giving a flying fuck about what kids are into now days, because it’s either permutation of old crap or just too fucking stupid in the first place. This is one of the reasons why I extended the writing staff to not being just me. More people are equal to more pulses on the “in thing”. It was our daily drinking discussion that the music scene is a hopeless turd and it needs saving. No we’re not here to save it brodawgs; we’re here to give you an option. An alternative. Its would be like the 90s all over again. Only better. And going off like Noel Gallagher on your sister’s poon.

So strap on your seatbelts ladies and gents, we’re scarred and angry and back with a fucking vengeance. We’re throwing it back to the wolves. More venom please.

Now that’s out of the way, what can our hipster readers expect from the newly revamped Commune? Eat this shit for starters kids…

An all new review section of shit we love and hate and everything in between, nothing and no one is safe. Also updates about PKi! happenings are in order as well. Like record releases and shows. But like a bad infomercial, that’s not all. Remember that band gossip I was dishing out? Expect more of those as well. Plus! We would be sharing druggie ramblings and all the other fun juvenile shit we’re into. Psyched? Fuck you if you’re not.

So there you have it dorkus, the official comeback statement made by me, the one who loosely runs shit around these parts of independent-elitist-hob-knobbing. And just to give you dudes boners and you gals a wet vag, here’s a bit of news from our camp of misfits.

There would be another awesome PKi! compilation in the works and its called “This is not the OC, This is BF”. Indie music for your precious ears with Commune artists hording out the gamut. Old timers like Spazzkid, Dead Chasing Daylight, the Treblinka Love Scene, and (big surprise!) arthaus*. Also tagging along for the ride are some of the Commune’s n00bs Cosby Sweater, The Wasted and Ready, and i love you… in real life. It would be out sometime this year and keeping up with the whole “punk ethics” shtick, it would be free. Wet yet?

OK now go out there and spread the good word. That we’re taking it back with an ounce of fuck you to boot.